Superwomen Need Support Too!

By Gloria Morrow, PhD.

The pressures and demands of everyday life will continue to be with us in 2004, especially as we maintain our fast paced lives. The stressors we often face lead to physical and psychological distress, which can ultimately impact our overall quality of life in negative ways.

I have been watching this phenomenon with great interest, because so many men and women are increasingly afflicted with debilitating physical impairments, such as hypertension, diabetes, and cancer, in addition to psychological impairment, such as depression and anxiety. While there are many scenarios I could focus on today reflecting the impact of stress on our lives, I would like to highlight three distinct groups of “Superwomen” - (professional women; women in business and pastors’ wives) who may be highly vulnerable to poor mental and physical health because of the stressful lives they lead with sometimes limited to no support. The term “Superwomen” is used to depict women who are constantly attempting to do a balancing act between work, home, spouse, children, and self-care, although self-care is usually rarely achieved on a consistent basis.

Let’s look at the professional woman who may be in business for herself or a corporate power broker for a major corporation. She may be stressed out by the need to compete in a business world that is usually dominated by males, along with the responsibility of going home at the end of the day to manage a home and family. For African American women, the problem may be even more complex, especially if they are victimized by racism and sexism. Many times these “Superwomen” are highly stressed out with neither adequate support from the workplace nor her family. I would like to take a minute to affirm those major corporations that understand the importance of family, and those spouses who are secure enough to lend support and understanding to “Superwomen.” But all too often, professional women are left depleted and drained by the demands of life, and many are struggling in silence because they may not believe anyone will understand.

Women in ministry represent another kind of "Superwoman". One would think that these women would have it made. After all, they are called by God to do God’s work. Well, women in ministry are also attempting to juggle the demands of family and work. They are also forced to negotiate in a predominantly male, sometimes sexist, environment and sometimes there is no one to talk about it. Women in the ministry who are married sometimes have marital problems because the couple has not received wise counsel helping them to deal with some of the issues that are inevitable when a female spouse is a minister or pastor. Once again, these Superwomen” may not have the kind of support they really need to successfully maintain a healthy sense of self.

The pastor’s wife is a long overlooked Superwoman,” whose major responsibilities include: (1) ministering to and caring for her husband who may be victimized by ungodly church members, (2) loving, supporting, and nurturing children who sometimes feel neglected because the primary focus in the family is on the church and its members, (3) loving and understanding the church, especially the women in the church, and (4) finding her own place in the ministry. This picture becomes even more complex when the pastor’s wife also works outside the home. These “Superwomen” are silent sufferers who may not have anyone they can talk to, not even their spouses.

Further, they may not have had wise counsel from the beginning of their husband’s pastorate to help prepare them for such an awesome calling.

I know you are asking yourself by now, “When can I get the support I need to avoid falling victim to a lethal effects of stress? Or, “I am suffering from emotional problems, and where can I get help?” For starters, women must acknowledge what’s going on in their lives and begin to talk about their thoughts and feelings.

It may be a good idea to connect with women who share similar struggles, who can understand and relate to what you are going through. However, please avoid affiliating yourself with women who are so bitter and angry that your encounters will be counterproductive. Some of you Superwomen” need more professional support. Seek wise counsel from a professional who is equipped to provide the necessary support and care you need, as well as to help you to develop strategies for change and growth. Some of my sisters are indeed suffering from depression and anxiety, and it is affecting everything in your life. If you are experiencing physical challenges, this would be a great time to seek consultation from your physician. Don’t let the New Year come and go without you taking responsibility for addressing your mental and physical health needs. Remember, “Superwomen need support too.” If you would like to make an appointment to schedule a consultation with me for individual or group therapy, please call (909) 392-6955.

Dr. Morrow is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist
in a private practice (Psy. Lic. No 18135).